Discussion > unclear addiction

Dear Lance,

I'd first of all like to thank you for your books. I have found them incredibly useful and insightful in terms of increasing my own awareness of what I believe is my addictive personality. I operate in extremes, I either drink excessively or I don't drink at all. I either gamble everything or I don't gamble at all. I either eat everything until my stomach feels it will explode or I don't eat at all. I am aware, thanks to your books that I have a huge issue with control. I would love to live in a world of moderation but unfortunately it doesn't offer me any sense of security or control. It's as if I am safer in my world of extremes. I am still trying to identify exactly what is my trigger for sparking my addictive acts, however I have now in a weird way almost got addicted to removing all of my potential addictions in my life. For example, I have recently got rid of my television, because I noticed how tv was used to help me escape and feel a sense of control.
I got rid of my laptop because I was addicted to the Internet. I stopped drinking alcohol in 2010 (still going strong). I started gambling one week after I quit the booze and I am seeing a gambling therapist at the moment. I am now addicted to food and controlling what food I eat. My problem is I don't have a clear single addictive act, therfore I can't trace back any of the feelings associated with wanting to do that addictive act because I no longer know what my addiction is. I feel very complex. I would love to know what my emotional trigger is, I think it's when I can't express my true feelings verbally to another human being, that's when I feel trapped- as a result of fear or anxiety, but that's a very broad reason that you already mentioned in your book. I'm desperate to get to the bottom of my issue. I was wondering if you could suggest any other books or literature which you felt could help me uncover my issue. I was hoping you might have a third book! (by the way i am aware that i am actually also addicted to self help books haha) I live in London, england by the way. I would love to very a suggested reading list around the subject of addiction from a man as wise as yourself. Many thanks

November 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoseph D

Joseph, I am another addict so have no real knowledge to offer. But, I too think my problem stems for not being able to express my feelings. I think this is from fear of not being **whatever** enough. I can't find the line between people pleasing and wanting the best for everyone. I look forward to learning from Dr. Dodes' books. Good luck. Cheers.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPeggy